Authenticity: Getting to Know Who We Really Are...
Our individual identities seem to carry a huge significance while we live out our short time on this Earth, and discussions about this are increasingly frequent these days. I used to wonder whether discovering our true identity was what life was all about, other than procreation, of course. But now, I wonder whether this obsession over our identities stems from a detachment from who we are, why we are here and what we are meant to be doing. The world is so much more open now, with the potential for opportunity far more colossal than ever before. Yet, the rate of expansion and of change has moved much faster than I think our human selves can cope with, making it harder and harder to integrate into and find a position that feels stable and lasting. Sure, we may be able to do more than our ancestors could ever even dream about, but can we be certain that the results from what we are doing are always advantageous? Or is our persistent focus on progress and personal gain causing us to lose sight of ourselves, so much so that we can’t see the damage being caused to our own lives, other people’s lives, and the planet?
There is such a stark contrast to the way we live now, and the way people lived a hundred years ago. We travel faster, work to tighter deadlines, spend more time sitting down in front of screens, spend less time talking with people face to face, and have a diminishing preference for privacy. It is no wonder that so many people feel so lost within their own identity, since so much of their time isn’t spent creating or discovering themselves but is instead focused on simply keeping up. I believe that this is why many people latch onto identifiers that are external to themselves and then wear them like clothes. If you are living in a world that makes you feel like you are always a few paces behind, how can you ever feel like you have the time or the permission to explore your inner thoughts or feelings? How can you ever escape the unshakable need to fit in?
The truth is labels are superficial. They are terms and phrases we use to give people a quick overview of what we are about so they can discern whether they have anything in common with us. It seems quite performative and tribal, because at the end of the day, I could define myself by my gender, sexuality, ancestry, or political leanings, and you would still know absolutely nothing about me. And, if those labels were all I had, then I would still know absolutely nothing about myself either. This is because I believe that our true identities go much deeper than that. I don’t believe we can just rely on our physical appearance, presence, and status in the world to identify us. I think we should be thinking more about who we would be if all these three-dimensional characteristics were taken away from us. What is our vision, our perspective, our purpose? What are our interests, skills, and wisdom? What are our values, morals, and principles? What do we add to the world to make it a better place than it was before we came? Constructive actions, no matter how big or small matter more than the physical traits that we were born with.
Labels can also be huge barriers for deeper discussions. If someone can judge you simply on a one-word classification that is different to their own and is unwilling to get to know you past that single word, then the debate is never had, knowledge is never passed on, and change never happens. This can also be linked to the desperation certain people have to be right, so much so, that listening to anyone that goes against their opinion isn’t someone who they will willingly talk to. Aside from taking sides, I think this issue is far more multifaceted. Since so many people are focused on how their labels relate to other people’s labels, few conversations go deep enough to make a strong connection within various forms of relationships. And part of me thinks that this superficiality contributes to the rise in feelings of loneliness that is often reported on nowadays.
If few are willing to get to know others past their physical form, it can be incredibly isolating. Even for those who seemingly have a lot of people around them, if certain conversations aren’t being had or there is a discomfort surrounding the idea of opening up, their own consciousness can feel incredibly remote and detached from other people. It can start to feel like they are the ‘only ones’ going through this or that, when they aren’t they just don’t have a chance to be honest with who they are and confidently share that side of themselves with others. In seeking out our individuality and uniqueness, we forget to preserve what connects us and what brings us together, which is, of course, the human experience.
I believe that an identity should be crafted from our internal nature regarding our perspective, interests and principles, rather than dwelling so much on how we look, either physically or circumstantially. Then we can focus on the changeable aspects of our lives and characters to harmonize our internal identity with our external exertions, since that is where the true creativity lies. That is where we can make choices that are much more closely linked to who we are and what we want to be, that goes much further than our temporal bodies. Not only can we work to get to know ourselves better internally and create a life we are content with, but we can also start to think about the kind of world that we want to live in and the place we have within its development. If we don’t know who we are, we don’t know what we are capable of doing, and more often than not, we never end up doing it.
If we can pay closer attention to our own minds, we can set ourselves free from our physical façade. Of course, our bodies will still be there and will still play a huge part within our lives, and we should still look after them, but should we see them as the sole culmination of our so-called identity. I think not. I think that in doing so, we place barriers on ourselves and each other that don’t have to exist, we just keep perpetuating them.
